You start by not trying to be someone else! There is a lot of cultural pressure to conform to a common way of thinking and behaving. There is always pressure for the minority to conform to what the majority does.
This cultural pressure, also known as “peer pressure” is constantly being applied in a 1000 ways to each of us every day.
Think of the 100s of marketing messages that bombard you every day. All those images of “happy” people wearing the touted new leather loafers, or sporting the latest “bling, bling” shoulder bag.
There are also the societal and community pressures you feel when you are part of any group. The group is always pushing for equilibrium. The group wants you to conform. You will feel immense pressure to “get in line”.
Conforming for “conformity” sake is dangerous.
If you choose to live your life according to your purpose, values and principles, then you are on solid ground. At the very least you are more consciously aware of why you doing what you are doing.
If you are are merely “going with the flow” of the community and societal stream, you will end up on a shore you never intended. And you will always feel helpless as you have turned your thinking over to someone else.
If you haven’t established your own set of life values, and purpose, then by default you will adopt those of the predominant group to which you are associated.
Get square with yourself first. Get very clear about what you want to achieve in life. Here is a secret that all successful people apply to achieve great things: “Help enough other people achieve what they want in life, and you will achieve everything you want in life”.
Focus on what you can contribute. Create value for others at the highest level you can.
You won’t be great at this at first, but as you continue to think and act as a contributor and producer, the ways you can create value will become more clear.
Once you have clarity about your purpose, and how you can create value, it’s time to create a plan.
A plan is best implemented when you have a clear end goal in mind. The end goal is that ultimate state you want to achieve.
Perhaps you want to be living in a beach community, in a open architecture home, surrounded by positive friends and family. You have a flexible schedule where you focus on the projects and work that aligns with your passions and purpose.
Maybe you want to be a world traveler, staying in new exotic locations every few months. You make an income that meets all your needs with some leftover to contribute to causes that you endorse.
Your vision of where you want to get to will help you formulate a plan to get there. Your vision will provide the “why” for your life. Once your “why” is strong enough, you can tackle any “how”.
Once you are clear on your life vision, goals, and a plan to get you there, you are now in a position to “be yourself” without being overly affected by the community and societal pressures being pressed upon you.
If you constantly feel overwhelmed by the expectations and pressures around you, then you can be well assured that you have not achieved clarity on your own life vision, goals and plan.
The great news is that you can turn this around by the end of the day. Just take the time to get very clear about your own life. Its YOUR life.
Please note that group and societal pressures aren’t necessarily bad, if they align with your life view and goals. The key is to do what you do consciously.
If you are just living like a “cork in the ocean” and being blown around like a feather in the wind, it’s going to impossible for you to feel confident and sure in your course.
As a “feather in the wind” you are always impacted by external forces.
Lay out your life vision today. Understand WHO, WHAT, and WHY you are and you will naturally “be yourself”.
Enter your questions below and I’ll be happy to help.
Make it a blessed day!